In the search for some confidence

Confidence has been hard to come by lately. Finishing near the back of the pack in every race, sometimes in a race to not be DFL can do a number on your feel good. The weekend after Putney was the race at Domnarski farm. Well, I'll blame it on the sunburn, but I didn't feel particularly chirpy the day after the burn, which was the day before the race. I didn't really have an appetite to eat dinner, then not much of an appetite for breakfast the morning of the race. Domnarski is long, with lots of climbing, and it is rough in places. Just before the start, I felt slightly hungry. Not good.

I never really bonked, thankfully. I even found some kind of power on the last half of the last lap, mainly cause I was trying to drop the other guy so I wouldn't be in last place. It was way too little, way too late though. The entire Cat 1 field had walked away from me on the first climb.

I'm supposed to be good at climbing. It has always been where I stood out in racing. It doesn't seem to be so this year. I find myself wondering, am I just no good at climbing any more?

Truth is, everyone in Cat 1 is just plain fast. There is no hiding.

I'm probably just as fast, if not faster than I ever was, but I don't feel it. Not when I'm hanging out some place close to last in every race. So, with the traditional XC races winding down for me as I prepare for the annual 24 hours of Great Glen I'm looking for a lot of confidence. I think we all know that the mental aspect can be the most powerful part of a sport, especially one like cycling. If you're confident, you'll be fast, if you're not confident, best of luck to you. I'm trying to find that mental boost that makes me feel fast, so that I'll be fast, for me and my team mates.

The first boost finally came the other day. I did a little fitness test. The fastest I'd done this particular loop before was with an average speed of 19.7 mph. Despite the one killer hill, and it's a killer, there are some places where the pace can sit above 20 mph. Monday night, I did the loop at 20.1mph.

Big boost. Maybe I am fast.

This weekend will hopefully give me the next boost. A 6 hour endurance race at the Holiday Valley ski resort. If it all goes well, I'll be mentally ready to shred the 24 hour course.